The Heart-Winner of Poppelvania

Sir Hartwin stopped his horse and glanced back down at the map. Pulling out his compass, he checked his bearings. He smiled; he was almost there. He gazed up at the volcano. Kicking his feet into his steed’s sides, they continued ascending to the top.

The Kingdom of Maliful had used a bewitched felcat to kidnap Sophronia, Princess of Poppelvania. That felcat spirited the gorgeous young princess to a tower built on top of a volcano between the two countries. Modifisa, Queen of Poppelvania, was desperate to save her daughter and sent out the flyers throughout the neighboring countries, offering a great reward for the slaying of the felcat and rescuing of her daughter—her daughter’s hand in marriage. With no other heir to the throne, the knight who rescued Princess Sophronia would become the next king of Poppelvania!

But the promise of being king wasn’t what had drawn him to risk his life against a felcat to save the princess, but rather the picture of Princess Sophronia that came with the flyer. If she was only as half as beautiful as the picture that he had seen, she’d still be the most beautiful woman he had ever met! A woman of such rare attractiveness was surely worth dying for! He couldn’t wait until the honeymoon!

He shook his head, and reminded himself that he’d have to kill a felcat to do it. Warlocks had experimented with transfusing demon blood into various animals centuries ago. Of all their abominations, the felcat was the most feared. They grew to be three times the size of any bear, but still retained their feline speed and reflexes. Even worse, their demon heritage had granted them wings that weren’t big enough to allow them the gift of flight, but were large enough to allow them to change direction in mid-air. They attacked with such ferocity, that the devil himself surely was terrified of the beasts.

Sir Hartwin had read up all he could on felcats before his journey. He studied what they ate, how they attacked, and everything else. He just thanked the gods that a felcat only produced one child in its lifetime or the hellacious felines would have destroyed mankind long ago. He mentally ran over all he knew about fighting a felcat as he reached the summit of the volcano.

The pungent stench of sulfur invaded his nose. He coughed for a while until he grew accustomed to the smell. Glancing across the sea of lava, he saw the tower, built on a large stone in the middle of the volcano. Sir Hartwin shook his head; how had anyone crossed the lava to build the bridge and a tower in the first place. More importantly, why? These were questions that would most likely never get answered, he felt.

He dismounted and tied his horse to the post of the rope bridge. He sheathed his sword and grabbed his spear, and began to cross. About halfway across the bridge, he saw her. She was walking across the rocky terrain in a gorgeous silver gown. Her long pink hair cascaded down to her ankles. Her blue eyes sparkled with the radiance of sapphires. Her figure looked like it had been formed a master glassblower. She truly was as beautiful as her picture in the flyer!

The gorgeous young woman seemed to be picking the fireweed that grew near the base of the tower. She leaned down to put another fireweed in her basket, giving the young knight a better view of her ample chest—he was really looking forward to the honeymoon. He cleared his throat as he reached the end of the bridge. “Princess Sophronia! I am Sir Hartwin and am here to rescue you!”

She turned around, startled. Then she rolled her eyes and in a voice as sweet as honey said, “Oh wonderful, you’re wearing armor. You’re going to be a real big mess to clean up.”

Sir Hartwin hadn’t been expecting that reaction; he had imagined more adulation, gratefulness, and even a few thankful kisses. He raised his eyebrow. “Excuse me, Princess. What do you mean by—“

She interrupted and started walking away. “When Fuzzles kills and eats you. He’s going to have to hack up your armor afterwards. Do you realize how much harder it is to clean up after a metalball instead of your normal hairball?”

“Who’s Fuzzles?”

“It’s the Felcat. It’s what I named it.”

“You named the beast?”

“Hey, he’s the only company I have. What did you expect me to do?”

Sir Hartwin glanced around the tower with his spear at the ready. “Where is the demonspawn?”

As if to answer his question a thunderous roar echoed off the walls of the volcano, making it impossible to tell where it came from. Then, something jumped off the top of the tower. “Ah, there’s Fuzzles.” The sound sent a chill up through his bones. He had read about the soul-rattling roar of the felcat, but nothing was compared to living through it.

Hartwin’s eyes went wide. It was heading straight at him! He rolled out of the way, only to find it flap its wings slightly, redirecting itself right at him. He chastised himself for forgetting that it could change direction mid-air. Since evasion wasn’t an option, he planted his feet and stuck his spear straight into the air. If it wanted to pounce on him, it would have to pay dearly to do so.

The demon-cat’s glowing yellow eyes went wide and changed direction to avoid his spear. It landed with the grace of any housecat, then charged at the knight with the speed of a cheetah.

Not able to react quickly enough to the felcat’s lighting fast change in direction, Sir Hartwin found himself flying backwards from the impact of a giant claw into his chest. He growled angrily as he was tossed forcefully into the stone wall of the tower. He winced as he stood back up; the force of the felcat’s strike dented in his chestpiece in the front, making it very painful to move. If he got out of this fight alive, he wasn’t going to be able to get out of his armor without assistance.

But he didn’t have time to worry about the future because “Fuzzles” was still charging. He thanked his lucky stars that he had held onto his spear. He leaped into the air, then kicked off the wall of the tower to lift himself above the felcat. The felcat snarled and jumped into the air, attempting to attack with its dagger-like teeth.

This was exactly what Sir Hartwin had hoped would happen. He had read that a felcat’s strongest muscles were in its mouth, and that once you were in its jaws, you couldn’t escape. But at the same time, because it didn’t attack with its claws, he now had the distance advantage. With a manly roar, he thrust his spear into the mouth of the beast.

“FUZZLES!”

The felcat cried out with an unholy tone that caused Hartwin to let go of his spear momentarily. As he crashed to the ground, he found himself having to dodge the hind legs of the felcat that was now desperately pawing at the spear, trying to dislodge it from its throat. The spear handle splintered at the felcat’s unwieldy strength, making it impossible to dislodge it. It whimpered like a kitten at its inability to stop the pain.

This was his chance! Hartwin unsheathed his sword and gripped the tail of the beast, lifting himself onto its back. Gripping the beast’s fur, he pulled himself to the top of the beast. He saw the princess running towards the monstrous feline. “Stop pawing at it Fuzzles! You’re making it worse! Let mommy take it out!”

“Stand back, Princess!” The bone-rattling scream of the felcat echoed throughout the volcano for the last time as Sir Hartwin drove his sword through its skull. As the beast staggered forwards, the knight stumbled onto the ground. He shook his head and looked up. The beast lurched forward towards him, causing the knight’s eyes to open wide in fear. On average, felcats’ weighed over 1,500 pounds. If it fell on him, he might not survive!

As luck would have it though, the beast staggered one more step backwards. With one last whimper, it began to fall away from the relieved knight. That was, he was relieved until he heard Princess Sophronia’s voice. “Fuzzles! Fuzzles don’t—eeeeeeek!” After the felcat thudded to the ground, any sounds the Princess had been making ended.

Hartwin gulped. “P-Princess Sophronia?” No response. He pushed himself back onto his feet. “Princess?” He crept around the carcass of Fuzzles in hope he might see the beautiful young woman. He gasped as he saw long, pink hair spilling out from beneath the body of the felcat. “No! Damn it!” He had killed the felcat, but in doing so had killed his bride to be!

He mourned her death only for a moment as another idea came to his mind: he had killed the only heir to the Poppelvanian throne! That was bad—very bad. He had been trying to rescue her, but that would not matter to a Poppelvanian court. He had gone from potential hero to a murderous villain in but a few short moments. Why had that stupid girl run towards the monster as he killed it? Who cared if it had a cute name? It was still a monster! Damn it! Why couldn’t she have just…?

“Smooth one, hero. You really botched this one.”

Sir Hartwin shot his head around and drew his sword. Maybe Maliful had left an agent here to watch over the Princess and the felcat. That would make sense; who would have fed the Princess otherwise? “Who goes there?” As he gazed upon the voice his eyes went wide with confusion and terror. A middle-aged woman wearing a royal blue gown glared at the would-be hero. A large crown encrusted with various jewels sat on her graying pink hair. He gulped.

“Who goes there? To answer your question, Modifisa, Queen of Poppelvania.” With a snort she strode past him and examined what remained of the felcat and her daughter. “This is going to be terrible publicity. Word gets out that some hot shot knight got the only heir to my kingdom, every person with one-onehundreth of a claim to the throne will start bickering over it.” She sighed. “Monarchy can be such a bitch sometimes.”

Sir Hartwin slowly stepped backwards, hoping he could avoid the Queen who seemed lost in thought. Unfortunately with the condition of his dented in armor, he couldn’t move too much before he winced in pain, causing the Queen to turn around. “Stay there for a moment, I’m thinking.”

She waved her hand and Hartwin found himself floating in the air. He gasped, “You’re a witch!”

“Only when someone has upset me.” She turned around, and started sizing up Sir Hartwin. “Otherwise I’m just a sorceress. Unfortunately for you, I’m very upset with you.”

“It—it was an accident.”

“No! Really? And here I thought you were planning on going through all the trouble of killing a felcat just so it could fall on my daughter. Well then, now that I know you didn’t get her killed on purpose I’ll just let you go, even though there is now a major risk that my country could now descend into civil war once I die.”

Sir Hartwin blinked. “Really?”

“NO! My goodness, I can feel myself becoming dumber just being around you. The only other person who could do that to me was Sophronia. Looks like you two were made for each other. I haven’t known you for but two minutes and I already want to slap sense into your head.”

“Sorry?”

The Queen’s eyes lit. “Made for each other—or like each other! Yes, we may have a solution here.” The Queen waved her hand and a chair materialized behind her. As she sat down, she dusted her skirt off. “Well, you’re now stuck in this situation so I might as well tell you.”

“Tell me what?”

“I said I was going to tell you! Why would you ask that question when it’s obvious that I’m about to tell you?”

“Sorry, Queen Modifisa.” Sir Hartwin was terrified of this woman. He figured it would be best if he was just overly polite to her. Maybe then he’d be spared of her rage.

“Now, as you can see, I’m not only of noble blood but magical blood. My father taught me the arcane from the age of twelve on. When my daughter turned twelve I showed her what I could do and explained I could teach it to her too. I thought it not only in the best interest as her mother but as Queen. My husband was already dead and a country always needs a strong leader. But she turned me down because, and I quote, she didn’t ‘want to have to read boring old books and stuff.’ She was lazy!” The Queen’s eyes narrowed. “She had her incredible beauty. She had figured out that she didn’t need magic to manipulate the world around her, because she could just throw a wink here or a small flirt there and could get other people to do whatever it was she wanted. What did she need magic for?”

“I uh, guess nothing?”

“Wrong! She needed magic so she could be strong and lead a country. This is the great weakness of any monarchy! All it takes is one weak person in a family line to destroy a country!”

“I never thought of it like that.” Did all royalty think like this? Maybe it was a good thing he wouldn’t be the king now. There was no way he’d be able to handle the stress. It seemed like this woman was barely managing.

“Of course you wouldn’t! You’re just a knight. You don’t have the weight of a country on you. But I do. I had to think ahead. If she wasn’t going to be strong, there was still a chance that she’d marry someone strong. That’s when I started take a vested interest in the men she was pursuing and was being pursued by. The list of who was pursuing her grew too long so I focused on who she was pursuing. And that list was appalling!”

“Appalling how?”

“They were weak, all of them. Poets! Painters! People who would shower her with words and goodies about how wonderful and beautiful she was. Not one warrior, scholar, or sorcerer amongst the lot! If left to her own devices she was going to ruin the country by picking a king that wouldn’t be useful for anything other than being a bard! I had to intervene. So I did. Through some cunning and well placed informants, I got my hands on a felcat egg…”

Hartwin’s eyes went wide. “YOU controlled the felcat!? You set this whole thing up?”

The Queen laughed. “Of course I set the whole thing up. I still can’t believe that people just innately trust what I say just because I’m a queen. Stop and actually think for a moment! If the kingdom of Maliful had captured the princess of their hated enemies, would they put her on top of a tower on a volcano on their border guarded only by one monster a single knight would kill or would they just throw her in a dungeon in their capital city where it would take an army to rescue her.”

Sir Hartwin raised a finger to protest—then put it down. “Huh, that is kind of obvious when you put it like that.”

“Yes. It is.” The Queen stood up and her chair vanished. “So here I am heirless. Luckily for us, my dim-witted knight, I have a solution.”

“You do? You’re not going to punish me?”

Modifisa rolled her eyes. “Well, I didn’t say that. What’s your name?”

“Oh—uh, Sir Caydum Hartwin.”

“Well, Caydum, you killed the felcat, proving that you were indeed strong enough to be the king of this kingdom. But unfortunately in the killing of my daughter and in our conversation you’ve also proven to be lacking the intelligence it takes to rule Poppelvania. So I’ve decided I’m going to adopt you…”

“That doesn’t sound so bad.”

“As my daughter.”

“That does sound bad. What do you mean adopt me as your daughter? I’m a knight.”

With a snap of the Queen’s fingers, the felcat’s corpse rolled over and revealed the lifeless body of the beautiful princess. “Sure. You’re a knight now, but in a few moments you’ll be a princess.”

“But—I don’t wanna be a princess!”

“You lost say in the matter when you killed my only heir. Now first off, these spells are a little difficult so I’m going to need you to be quiet. Mont scyttan.” Sir Hartwin felt something shut his mouth forcibly. He tried to pry it open with his hands but couldn’t get it to move an inch.

“Now, with that out of the way, time to strip you down. Esquiper gai.” He felt all the buckles, straps, and bolts on his armor snap open, loosen, and unscrew themselves. As each piece of armor clanked to the ground, his clothing beneath his armor squirmed off his body.

He blushed as he floated silently in the air, naked in front of a queen. She however didn’t seem phased at all. “All right, first off, we’ll get you primed for the transformation. Now, if you’re going to be my daughter you’ll need to look somewhat like her, so we’ll use the body of my other daughter that you killed as the primer. Shall we?” Sir Hartwin shook his head vigorously. “That’s okay. It was more of a rhetorical question anyway.”

“Roial botah primus cnit botah!” The lovely body of the late princess burst into a glowing green goop. With wide, sweeping hand motions the Queen lifted the goop off the ground and smeared it over the thrashing knight like grease. Try as he might, Sir Hartwin couldn’t wipe the goop off; as soon as it touched his skin, it would dry like mortar. Pretty soon he was trapped in a case of magical green goo that used to be the woman he had hoped to marry.

Despite being completely trapped, he could still hear the sounds of the outside world. “Okay, got that, now we’ll take the dress and slide it over so you’ll be decent when this primer gets its job done.” Against the light of the sun, he could see the silhouette of the Queen lift the dress and shoes of the princess off the ground and slide it over the hardened mass of green. He heard several rips as she slid it over his male figure. “No worries. I’m just going to be altering it in a moment. Silver was a good color on Sophronia. But judging from your body and then combined with my daughters… probably orchid will be your color. Hmmm, yes. Orchid it will be.”

The silhouette hands moved once more. “Directiere culos orhkis! Limus mezgo skitha! Directiere parare!” Hartwin’s eyes went wide as he could feel the green goop sink into his skin, his form becoming mushy and malleable. He could feel the dress and shoes repairing themselves and pulling tighter against his body.

“Dheigh horegear!” His waist shriveled in size like a drying plant. “Postocks zwellen!” The cheeks of his butt swelled out like two oranges growing to gigantic sizes. “Kista gigas!” Two enormous mounds erupted out of the former knights chest. “Haegr weaxan!” He felt his hair gush outward, growing longer and longer. “Fasada bellus!” He scrunched his face as he could feel it itch all over. His skin and bones were contorting and he could feel his lips puffing outward, making him look very kissable. “Skitha smod!” He felt all his leg, chest, and armpit hair disappear as his skin was sanded to a very fine smoothness. “Pendere dignitatum!” His hands and arms shrunk as his legs elongated, giving him a very weak but elegant look to his entire frame. “Grundus gurwilon!” She gasped as the last bit of his manhood was replaced.

“There we go! Time to see what my new daughter looks like.” With a snap of the finger, the goop disappeared and “Sir” Hartwin got the first good look at her new body. “Oh, I love how your hair turned out!” Indeed, her new hair, much like her entire body, was magnificent. Full, brilliant locks of scarlet swayed playfully all the way down to her knees. Hartwin just knew this extra-long hair was going to get in the way.

The Queen giggled. “And what you lack in Sophronia’s ass you sure made up for it with your chest. The knights are going to be drooling.” Hartwin glanced down and his pretty azure eyes almost jumped out of their sockets. Her breasts were enormous—enormous and on display. The pinkish-purple dress was extremely low-cut and showcased just how booberific she had really become. She was somehow even bigger than Princess Sophronia had been and before seeing her he had only imagined a woman having breasts that big!

The Queen laughed again. “Oh, your face is so precious Sir Hartwin—but now it’s time to do something about that name of yours. Sir Caydum Hartwin just isn’t very becoming of the future queen of Poppelvania. Let me think…” The Queen tapped her chin thoughtfully before snapping her fingers. “I got it!” With a wry smile she put her hand on the former knight’s head. “Onyma niowe ceallian Lafdi Kaydrina seo Khertanwainnark!”

Hartwin could feel something in his mind. Like little snakes snatching eggs, the magic slithered and moved things around. The sensation made Hartwin simultaneously want to vomit and laugh. The Queen pulled her hand away and grinned. “Now tell me, my daughter. What is your name?”

The Queen snapped and Hartwin felt compelled to answer her question. “My name is Kaydrina the Heart-winner, Princess of Poppelvania.” Kaydrina gasped and clutched her throat in shock at both the sound of her vapid, giggly voice and her inability to say her old name. “No! I’m not Sir Caydum Hartwin! I’m Princess Kaydrina the Heart-winner! AGH!”

The new princess stared daggers at her new mother and was about to yell something obscene, but got interrupted. “Stojus prettig. Smeilen seduir!” Her muscles involuntarily moved her into a cute pose, with her sticking her chest out. An artificial, but inviting, smile crept over her face. “Excellent. Now just hold that.” Kaydrina desperately tried to disobey, but could get her body to budge an inch.

Queen Modifisa pulled a small clear stone from her pocket. She held it up to Kaydrina and the stone flashed a bright white light. “There we go.”

Kaydrina felt control return to her muscles, for al the good that it did her; being levitated in the air made it very difficult to do much with her muscles. “What the hell was that?”

“It’s an automatic painter. A small painting of you in that adorable pose has just been put inside this stone. I will give it to my magic printing press for the new flyers I’ll be distributing. I can see it right now. ‘Come rescue Princess Kaydrina the Heart-winner from the clutches of a vicious felcat. For the one who rescues my fair daughter will be given her hand in marriage. Please rescue her, Queen Modifisa.’ That combined with your picture will have knights flocking from all over just as they did for Sophronia.”

The red-head fumed. “Let them come! Once I tell the knights who come here what you’ve done, they’ll help me overthrow your, your, your…”

“Tyranny?”

“Yeah! That!”

The Queen chuckled and pulled a large flask of golden brown liquid from her royal robes. “Don’t worry about what you say. I’m going to be taking care of that.” The Queen spread her fingers and Kaydrina found her limbs being stretched far apart. She struggled to move her limbs as the Queen walked up invisible steps until she was face to face with her knew daughter. Grabbing Kaydrina’s chin, she opened the young woman’s mouth and shoved the flask into her mouth. “I need you to drink this for my next spell to work. So drink up, my dear.”

Kaydrina glared daggers. The Queen sighed and used her other hand to plug her nose. “I said drink, Kaydrina. Mother knows best.” The young princess winced and tried to will herself to pass out, but after almost a minute had passed, her need for air grew greater than her will to resist. She quickly downed the honey-sweet liquid.

The Queen smiled and let go. As Kaydrina gasped for air, the Queen put the flask away. “Vocum aef blorem, Fortia aef bobbelnia!”

The Princess felt a ticklish sensation run down her throat. “What—what was that? I—I don’t feel different.”

The Queen nodded. “You wouldn’t. That was an expectation spell.”

“A what?”

“For goodness sakes, I’m going to explain it! Quit interrupting!”

She shrunk back a little. “Sorry.”

“An expectation spell is one where people will see, hear, taste, smell, or feel what they expect. In this case, I applied it to your throat so what people will hear when you talk isn’t what you actually said, but what they expect a beautiful, buxom princess to say to them.”

“Wh—what do you mean?”

The Queen smiled. “For example, instead of hearing you say, ‘Get away from me!’ the knight will more likely hear, ‘Thank you for rescuing me!’ Instead of ‘Put me down!’ they’re most likely to assume you said, ‘Kiss me!’ And instead of hearing you say, ‘Hell no!’ the priest is more likely to hear, ‘I do.’ That explain it well enough?”

The Queen stopped levitating the former knight, letting her fall to the ground as reality crashed on her. She couldn’t talk a potential suitor out of marrying him now. He had to come up with a different plan. “Um, but—then—what about the fact I don’t look like the princess in the older flyers?”

The Queen shrugged. “The ink got dried out. Made your scarlet red hair turn pink.”

“And the fact that I have a different name?”

“Printer error.”

“What about all the royalty that know Sophronia? They’ll know I’m not your daughter.”

“I’m the Queen. If I say you’re my daughter who is going to argue with me?”

“I’ll run away from here so no knight will find me.”

“Oh, brilliant plan. A lone, weak girl practically falling out of her dress alone in a forest full of beasts, monsters, and bandits that haven’t seen a pretty girl since they were three sheets to the wind in a tavern. No really, what possible problem could that plan have?”

“Uhhh, but there’s no felcat for people to fight now. I killed it.”

The Queen smiled. “I was waiting for you to point that out.” The Queen walked over to the carcass of Fuzzles. She ran her hand down the belly of the beast until her hands were between the two hind legs. Modifisa closed her eyes and her hands burst into an eerie green light. She pushed her hands through the felcat’s skin as if it wasn’t there. After a few seconds of rummaging around, she pulled her hands back out holding something in her hands, which were surprisingly as clean as a temple chamber.

As the Queen came closer, Kaydrina saw that she was holding an egg. “Do you know how felcats reproduce, my dear?”

“I know they only have one child their entire life.”

“Haven’t you ever thought about how that makes no sense? I mean, if they only have one child, and it takes a male and a female to create a child, that would mean their population would diminish by one half each generation, wouldn’t it?”

“I—well—yeah, I guess so.”

“Let me let you in on the secret then. Felcats have no gender. In their lifetime they will produce one egg which will sit in their body their entire lives. There, an identical felcat will reside until death. You see, the warm temperatures of the felcat’s body keep the egg in its egg state. Once the felcat dies its body cools down and the colder temperatures cause the felkitten inside the egg to break through the egg.”

The Queen held the egg out towards Kaydrina. A small crack formed in the egg. “You see, felcats were never able to be used offensively as warlocks had hoped because they found that at birth, the first living thing they saw they would imprint as their mother. Felcats are great at making sure their ‘mother’ isn’t bothered. And they are VERY possessive of mommy. Anyone even gets close to her they will fight them to the death to make sure they go away.”

The cute brown face of a felkitten poked through the egg’s shell. Its bright yellow eyes looked right at Kaydrina. “Mew?”

“Oh no.”

The Queen giggled as the felkitten leaped out of the egg and happily landed in the plentiful cleavage of the young princess. “MROW!”

“Hey! Get out of there!” Kaydrina picked up the felkitten by the scruff of its neck and tossed it to the ground. Undeterred, it started pawing at the hem of her dress happily. “Stupid demonspawn!”

With a snap, the three were teleported to the bedroom of the tower. Kaydrina and the felkitten looked around with surprise. “How did you—“

“Magic, you moron. Now, here is the deal. The felkitten you see here will take two months to reach maturity. Not very long for most animals but you have the problem that you’ll have a knight coming to rescue you around once a week. That was the average for Sophronia anyway. Your felkitten will not be able to defend itself for the first two weeks. If a knight comes, you’ll have to have some sort of trap ready to defeat him. To that end, there are ropes and what’s left of your weapons and armor outside.”

“I’ve turned you into a Princess because I don’t think you have what it takes to run a kingdom. But if you can last for four years here without any knights defeating your felcat, I’ll bring you back to the kingdom and when I die you’ll be crowned Queen. I figure if you can get each knight defeated for four years, then I judged you wrong.”

“But should your felcat be killed, there is going to be a subtle change to your expectation spell. Not only will everyone else hear what they expect you to say, but YOU’LL start hearing what people expect you to say. After that happens for a long enough time, you’ll actually start saying and acting like what people expect.”

Kaydrina pouted. “How do you know that?”

“You think I haven’t used that spell before? I have political enemies you know. They are no longer my enemies. Do you want me to elaborate further?” Kaydrina shook her head. “I didn’t think so.”

The felkitten finally noticed the Queen and its eyes began to burn with a hellish glow. It spread its tiny wings as far as it could and stood up to its full height, trying to intimidate what it saw as a threat to ‘mommy’ Kaydrina. Summoning all its strength it tried to roar. “Merorowowowow!”

The Queen laughed. “It doesn’t seem to understand that it isn’t a killing machine just yet. But I’ll take that as my cue to leave anyway. Farewell my young daughter. I hope for your sake that the next time we meet it won’t be at your wedding.” With a puff of smoke, Queen Modifisa disappeared.

Kaydrina the Heart-winner, Princess of Poppelvania huffed and flopped onto her new bed. Four years. How was she going to hold out for four years? Her thoughts were broken up by the felkitten jumping up on the bed and demanding her attention. “Mraw?”

Kaydrina sighed and looked around. She found a rubbery ball next to the bed and threw it to the ground. The felkitten instinctively took after the ball and started batting it around gleefully. It was hard to believe that in a few short months the tiny fuzzball was going to be a near unstoppable beast of destruction.

Kaydrina groaned and stood up. “I can tell you one thing, you little monster. I am no longer looking forward to any honeymoons.”


There we go! The story concept was something Pip pitched to me. I needed something that wasn’t Magical Girl Story to write over the Christmas break, so I took him up on this idea because of the art that was promised. XD I’m such a sucker for Pip artstuffs. He’s so good!

Anyway, story was supposed to be somewhat humorous. It’s partly why I made Sir Hartwin kind of a dope and Queen Modifisa very morally bankrupt. I mean, how many mothers turn their daughter into goo?

Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed the story. Please leave your comments so I can know what worked and what didn’t.

Loves!
Taralynn

8 thoughts on “The Heart-Winner of Poppelvania”

  1. Loved the story – will there be more? – it seems like there could be more to this as Sir Hartwin copes with her new life and perhaps tries to bring down the Evil queen?

  2. Ok I admint it, that was a funny one. Poor Hartwin just walked into a really nasty mess. Having to take out all the knights for four years would be a long time to try and stay single. And your only company is the felcat, poor kitty will be all kinds of lonely.
    It would be kinda nice to get one of these stories every now and then. Just to see how s/he is doing at keeping the suiters at bay.

  3. I see what you did there. You did it for the lolz!

    And I’m glad you did. Pretty funny.

    As for the felcat… I gotta get me one of them. 😀

  4. How interesting,Will she perhaps find a magic book to help her in defense?
    Perhaps transform some of the people looking for her,I always liked Cat-Girl’s.
    And with an Army of Transformed minions she can take over the Kingdom for her mother!Then a War for the purpose of conquering her foe’s.
    Or perhaps The Queen will give her the Task of taking over a nearby Kingdom to earn her manhood back after she wins the four year bet/She didn’t promise to turn her back/, a young transform crazy sorceress with plans of Conquest,I’d read that.

  5. Well My Good Doctor, the queen did say she would be “queen” if she held out so its pretty clear manhood was out of the question. But Maybe our princess could start to train with the felcat. Sure shes weat now but wit ha felcat sparing partner…Or what if one of the knight is a woman? lots of stories that can come from this….lots!

  6. Heh, until I saw the art, I was thinking in my head that the Felcat would look like the Nargacuga from Monster Hunter, in fact, the attacks that you mention in the story are very simaler to those of the Nargacuga in the game!

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