Time for an apology

I’ve kind of done a piss-poor job of keeping you all in the loop. For that I’m sorry. And a lot of other things. But mostly I’m sorry for not being honest with you all because you A) deserve it and B) have shown nothing but respect for me and my various issues. I couldn’t ask for a better, more patient fanbase.

In all honesty I’ve been struggling with writing. While September was a very challenging month for me with my internet going out, getting horribly sick towards the end of the month, and my workload at my day job increasing, none of these should have derailed my writing schedule. No. What’s derailed my writing schedule is horrible, terrible writing block.

I don’t have the issue some writer’s have of Imposter Syndrome. I am, thanks to your kind words, very confident in my writing ability. No, my problem is how far I’ve fallen behind. I suffer from a condition called “shame” and the further I fall behind, the more guilty I feel. Because of that guilt (which, I might add, I don’t like feeling. It’s a troublesome emotion XD) I then put off writing. When I do start writing, because of my writer’s block, I get frustrated and then find any excuse to not actually write.

Unfortunately this has extended to almost everything including lining up commissions and such. I just didn’t want to deal with it because it made me feel guilt for not following through. In all honesty, my biggest issue with content creation is the singular fact that I am a hare, not a tortoise. I have huge bursts of creative production followed by lulls of nothing. That kills writing. Every podcast and piece of advice that talks about writing will tell you this. And yet, I have failed to heed the warnings.

But I’m also a believer in the wisdom given to us by the one-hit wonder band Chumbawumba, “I get knocked down, but I get back up again.” I wouldn’t be writing this if I didn’t believe it was necessary to apologize for the trust I have betrayed by my inactivity and if I hadn’t taken steps to fix it. I have set up for myself an accountability coach when it comes to my content production. They have access to my to-do lists and follow up with me and now we have consequences for me not following through. What is the big goal I have set for myself?

50 words a day.

It’s not a big goal. But 50 is WAY better than 0. Mathematically speaking, you could argue infinitely better. There is a famous Reddit post that I loved even though I’ve been bad at following called “No More Zero Days” and that’s what I’m aiming for. Now, there are exception days of course. I’m leaving vacations free and holidays. But otherwise, I need to be willing to give this at least a little bit of time a day, no matter how bad the writer’s block. I also firmly believe the best way to fix a writer’s block is to write. I just… haven’t followed through on my own beliefs because work is hard.

In the end, I think that’s true of most things in life. We KNOW the solution to them but also know the solution takes hard work, dedication, and willpower and it’s easier to avoid those things. So, that’s why I have now paid someone to be my accountability coach when it comes to writing. Because you’re worth it.And frankly, I believe I’m worth it too. Don’t you worry about ol’ Taralynn. She’s not moping in self-pity. Just grumbling at confronting my shortcomings. It’s not fun. It’s easier to just play the new Spider-man game (because seriously it’s amazing) and avoid problems.

Well, with that bit out of the way let me tell you what I’ve done today. With the help of my accountability coach I’ve arranged for 3 new commissions so that we can catch up and remove a huge source of guilt from my shoulders (being behind). I have posted two polls for the pin-up images in October and November. The October one is a repeat of last year’s Babes of Bad Endings idea. Same options as last year except the winner of last year was removed. The November poll is based on the idea that some girls are just a little too high and might and need to take a walk on the nerdy side. If you’re a $5 and up patron please vote for the pin-ups so we can get started on getting those commissioned out as well.

So, the writing priority is going to be me finishing September’s Issue of Villains-in-Distress (it’s about half done) then getting October’s done, then… tackle this beast of a writer’s block on MGP. Attack it with… um.. fury! And vigor! And vim! Have you ever heard the word vim used by itself? I know I haven’t… that sounds like something Cory might observe. I’m going to file that one away as a possible line later.

Anywho, I have two more announcements. First, an old name you all may recognize, Kamizite, and I are teaming up once more. For those who don’t know, Kamizite and I teamed up to write Villains Union of America before we had to abandon that project because we got too busy in real life. Well… I know you all are thinking, “Taralynn! You just told us you are having problem with what’s on your plate RIGHT NOW! You can’t possibly add…”

Okay. Okay. Calm down. I hear you. This isn’t anything like that. Kamizite has just expressed an interest in publishing a story of his on the site. So, I’m going to be offering him a space. He hasn’t decided on a subject yet but I think, of the projects he has outlines, you’ll like whichever one he chooses. This will give us another item that can be psoted on teh site for your reading pleasure without loading more work on ol’ Taralynn. Don’t you worry. I just wanted to let you know somethign is coming and we’ll let you know more when it’s time.

Last announcement is I am totally psyched for the new Super Smash Bros. coming out in December. As such, I want to do something special. Something I’ve never done before. It will be related to the pin-up image in December. I don’t want to spoil things so let me just say… stay tuned.

Thanks again for your patience and well wishes. Now, just give me all your positive energy, vibes, prayers, and mojo to help me achieve my 50 words per day goal!

You all are the best fanbase a girl could ask for!

6 thoughts on “Time for an apology”

  1. I’m happy to wait for the next chapter so long as you are proud to release it, Taralynn! I also get how addictive the new Spiderman game is – I’ve already played quite a bit of it despite starting University recently. Just keep keeping on! Most of my energy is yours!

  2. Its all good! Your writing is good enough to publish yet you give it to us for free. I just look at it like it’s the end of the season and we are on break to the next season premiere.

  3. *Pat Pat*

    I have the same problem, but I solved it by doing Role Playing Forums cause I get to bounce ideas and bet borked at when I do nothing for like a week.

    Good luck with more productivity

  4. With a confirmation you didn’t suffer a fatal dose of hurricane, that’s enough for me. As always just take your time.

  5. Thank you for the update Taralynn!! I hope you can get through your current bout of writers block! I just know that you’re close to a breakthrough!

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